Life

Well, I kept thinking I would be in here before now. I just kept putting it off. Now I have nothing but time. I'll see if I can keep up now. Of course, with the way things are going for me right now, I have all kinds of time.
I recently got slapped in the face by the fact that I have several different medical issues that can be life-threatening. I have been told I am diabetic, have high cholesterol, and have high blood pressure. I am on meds for two of those. I'm only 47 years old. My dad's side has all of them with diabetes. On my mom's side there is massive heart disease. My grandfather died at 52 and my uncle, his son and my mom's brother, died at the age of 56. My mom had a heart attack at the age of 53 and a quintuple bypass at 63. Her sister also had a quadruple bypass in her late 50's.
To recap, this means that at a "young" age, I have been diagnosed with the two most deadly diseases. Nice, huh? It's a little disconcerting for it to be this way. I got the worst of both sides. Yee haw!
If that weren't enough, I was recently let go from my place of employment. That means no insurance and no income combined with health issues that I have to address or I die. I know that sounds harsh, but it you don't have the money to keep up with your health issues, choices have to be made. Because I'm not good enough to work at that place, I am now forced to figure out what is more important, food or medicine. I realize that I made mistakes, but letting me go didn't just affect my income and that is getting really hard to figure out.
Maybe tomorrow will feel better, but right now, it's really hard and I don't know what to do. I haven't felt this lost for a while and it's a little weird. The choices I look at are a little fuzzy right now. Let's hope they clear up.