Cari is my first child and was the first grandchild on both sides. My husband is the only child to have his own children and there were no girls so my mother-in-law was absolutely thrilled. She was able to dress a little girl in all the frilly clothes she wanted to. We have pictures to prove it and I will admit she was just too adorable in those frilly dresses.

After we survived her first nine months, (she was such a colicky baby), we found out she was a fearless child. My brothers liked to give my husband and in-laws near heart attacks because of the way they played with Cari. She was tossed, thrown, nearly dropped, and used like a sack of potatoes. In other words, they seriously feared she would be dropped on her head. My brothers were only following how they were raised.

My dad was good at throwing children around. There are pictures of my dad holding me by my calves while I was stiff as a board and laid horizontally stretched out six feet off the floor. It turns out I was pretty fearless too. Dad would play with me the same way my brothers were playing with Cari. He played with my brothers the same way. They never dropped her, but my in-laws were never sure.

I found out exactly how fearless she was when I went to pick her up at my mom’s one day. My brothers just HAD to show me what Cari was doing now. My mom lived in a house with an open staircase so it had a newel post. This newel post was rather large. It was large enough to hold a small child, namely Cari. One of my brothers would stand her on top of the newel post and then say, “Jump!” She blindly trusted them so much she would jump with everything she had. I just laughed. Cari was so proud of herself she started reaching for the post so she could jump again! She had no doubt they would catch her and she loved the exhilaration of the “game”.

She has not changed much since then. She now has her own child who is as fearless as she was. She even runs like her mama. It is like going back almost 25 years. Watching Paige reminds me of how much fun and joy Cari gave me, (and still does), when she was growing up. I cherish those memories more than she realizes. Memories are what makes us tick and drives us on.

Few things in life stand out more to a parent than something their child says or does. I have many vivid memories of my children's young lives. One of those memories makes me smile to this day. It was so much fun I have saved a reminder on my phone just for this memory. What led up to this is something every child is forced to endure every time they ride in the car with their parents.

We were no different than any other parent of the time with the music we listened to. We grew up with Lynyrd Skynyrd, Black Sabbath, ZZ Top, Steve Miller, and the Eagles. Of course we had cassettes (!) in the car that were always popped in as soon as we started on the journey we were taking. It really didn't matter if it was thirty minutes or thirty hours, there was music in the car. At that time the kids were inundated with our music as they had no choice. They were trapped. To this day, they all remember the music, and thankfully, they appreciate it.

Because I enjoy singing and like many different types of musical genres, I sang in the car most of the time. Three of my kids would join in regularly, but one of them only joined in a specific song. That was Brandon. He would only sing the chorus with me, but he sang it with gusto. That song was "Gimme Three Steps" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. It is such a great memory that today my ringtone for him is the beginning of the chorus from "Gimme Three Steps".

Thanks to Brandon, he began my need to give each person on my phone their own personal ringtone that reminds me of them. Something in each of these songs means something to me and my memories of them. Thank you Brandon for solidifying my sentimental side.

Well, I kept thinking I would be in here before now. I just kept putting it off. Now I have nothing but time. I'll see if I can keep up now. Of course, with the way things are going for me right now, I have all kinds of time.
I recently got slapped in the face by the fact that I have several different medical issues that can be life-threatening. I have been told I am diabetic, have high cholesterol, and have high blood pressure. I am on meds for two of those. I'm only 47 years old. My dad's side has all of them with diabetes. On my mom's side there is massive heart disease. My grandfather died at 52 and my uncle, his son and my mom's brother, died at the age of 56. My mom had a heart attack at the age of 53 and a quintuple bypass at 63. Her sister also had a quadruple bypass in her late 50's.
To recap, this means that at a "young" age, I have been diagnosed with the two most deadly diseases. Nice, huh? It's a little disconcerting for it to be this way. I got the worst of both sides. Yee haw!
If that weren't enough, I was recently let go from my place of employment. That means no insurance and no income combined with health issues that I have to address or I die. I know that sounds harsh, but it you don't have the money to keep up with your health issues, choices have to be made. Because I'm not good enough to work at that place, I am now forced to figure out what is more important, food or medicine. I realize that I made mistakes, but letting me go didn't just affect my income and that is getting really hard to figure out.
Maybe tomorrow will feel better, but right now, it's really hard and I don't know what to do. I haven't felt this lost for a while and it's a little weird. The choices I look at are a little fuzzy right now. Let's hope they clear up.

I know, it's been a while. You know how life takes over and you forget to take care of yourself? That's been me for the last few months. I have been in school, working, and helping with the grandkids. All of that usually causes me to run out of time and feel very scrambled.
School has been awesome this term. I had a great instructor who actually gets my writing. I had not considered myself to be a writer and it hit me that I am. I may not be the best writer out there, but I am a writer. Of course, I told my brother (who has been the writer in the family), that even Pulitzer Prize winning authors have editors. I guess as long as I have an editor I'm good to go. LOL
I'm still looking for another job. I want something that will challenge me and that isn't happening at the moment. There really isn't much to choose from at the moment. Even this college town has had a lull in the hiring process. I just keep plugging along with it.
The rest of life these days consists of challenges though. My son is having a few issues we are trying to help him work out and I hope he can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know we do. It is sometimes difficult to see the goal. You become so mired in the moment by moment events of the day, you don't see what's ahead. I know most people will say to take it one day at a time. I think there are times when you have to stop and take stock of the overall picture. Look at things as a whole and you will see how much better it is today instead of the way it was a month ago. If you can do that periodically, you can actually see the progress. The moral of the story kids is this: Remember to recognize the progress you make and you will begin to believe you can do it.
So much for my pep talk and I'll go for now, but keep looking. I plan to revisit some of the blogs I put on MySpace. I realized they still matter.

I have often heard the expression "think outside the box". Most of the time it refers to business management or advertising. Today, I realized that it applies to many more aspects of our lives. Most people live in a box. All they see are the four walls of their lives. There is nothing outside of that. They are not open to outsiders or new ideas. What they see is a box. There are no opportunities to be found because they can see all there is inside their box. They will not meet people who might deeply affect their lives because those people live outside the box.
As I watched the inauguration today, I came to a conclusion that hit me like a ton of bricks. Prejudice lives in a box. It does its very best to keep others out because it would upset the balance of the box. Prejudice is an insidious part of society that should never be allowed to expand and infect anything or anyone outside the box.
Outside the box is a wonderful world where there are no limitations. We can expand our knowledge and experiences without something holding us to the four walls of a box. I hope that after the events of today, America will live outside the box.

How many times have you thought you were losing your mind? I do every day. I recently started thinking about what all I try to balance. Work, personal life, school, family. Sometimes it gets a little wacky. I never seem to have enough time for anything. That isn't quite right though. I think it's just a perception I have. During this time, I have managed to paint my livng room, decorate for Christmas, and I cooked Thanksgiving dinner. I think that means most people have the perception they are just slammed to the wall and it may not be the correct assumption. Take time to enjoy the little things that every day brings. Not every thing, every day is bad.
Right now I'm trying to get through College Algebra. Now I keep hearing "Oooohhh" every time I tell someone I'm in that class. Does that tell you how hard it is to get any help with it? I think I'm one of those people that needs to sit in a class in order to get it. I did fairly well in high school when I took Algebra. I guess the years have worn away my brain cells. I think that's why I feel so stressed. I should take my own advice and enjoy the little things!

I have a friend who is always being goofy but always seems to know when he should call. I don't know how he does it, but we must be on the same wavelength most of the time. Since I decided to go back to school, I've had a fairly easy time of it, but the class that started today has me really freaked out. (Imagine not having been in school for almost 30 years and having to take an algebra class after all that time.) I've been rather uneasy about it. We email fairly regularly but not much on the phone. Yesterday he called. How great was that?